Ironically the chapter I’m studying with some of my students covers feelings and emotions. Just as I’ve had my roughest, most hectic few weeks here, I’ve been
My fav class learnin about emotions
teaching students about emotions. One student asked me to define mixed feelings. I defined it as how I felt in Korea at this precise moment: happy, sad, confused, frustrated, scared, tired, mad, and excited all at the same time. Its been very emotional for me for the past few weeks. Feeling wave after wave of all of these emotions is exhausting and enticing. Sometimes, I’m having such a great time, and I’m so thankful for all I’ve learned about myself already. Other times, I just want to close my eyes and disappear back into the comfort of my old life. My boyfriend, my cat, my dog, my apartment, my lifestyle, my bike, my favorite bar down the street, the comfort of my family being only an hour away by plane, the cliffs, and all of my dear dear friends and family I made in San Diego.
Through it all, every last difficult moment, every tear I’ve shed, every lonely and desparate moment I’ve felt, I wouldn’t go back, not just yet. I know that this journey will bring me much more than the old comforts of home could ever give me. I just need to be patient.
I’ve been so angry with Koreans. I’ve hated how they call me Weygugi, how they
stare, how they judge, how the teachers treat me differently, how the taxis won’t stop for me, and how the parents criticize my teaching methods, and how new students react to me. Lately, I have taken to staying at home more. I’ve been nesting. Cooking, cleaning, and reading. I just started Mark Plotkins’ “A Shaman’s Apprentice” It’s about how an ethnobotanist goes into the rainforest to discover how the Shaman’s use herbs to heal. Within the first paragraph the author divulges how the native peoples of the Amazon referred to him as ‘pananakiri’ which is roughly translated to ‘alien’. I laughed out loud at that. I think I brought that book with me on this journey for a reason.
cover of a pizza box..they were offering tickets to a "hip hop" club.. ohh Korea
Instantly, I forgave the Korean people for their judgments and ignorance. I have never fully accepted it until now. I’ve been upset and appalled and not understanding. I have such compassion for the people of the rainforest, but I’m so unforgiving of Korean people who do many of the same things to my friends and I. Doesn’t seem right does it? So, it’s official. I’ve squashed my beef with Korea. No longer am I angry. I promise to not walk around with a frown and grumble about their ignorance. I’m sure I’ll have frustrations here and there, but I hope to come back to this blog entry, take a deep breath, and move on. I have to do my job as an educator and educate.
As I’ve reached the top of my mountain of sadness, I feel refreshed and ready for
Jujeon beach and my purple tights and shoes
the descent. Today is exactly 2 months since my first day of teaching in Korea. I’ve been here for 9 weeks… breathtaking right? So much has happened already and I’ve grown as a person more than I could have back home. I’m happy for that. More than I can express. I was at a point where I needed drastic change in my life in order for things to change, and I think I’ve achieved that. I’m excited to see what the remainder of this year will bring.
A lot has happened since my last entry. We had Thanksgiving. It was amazing and so wonderfu. It made being away from home a lot less depressing. We had a wonderful family dinner including stuffing, mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce, roasted chicken (no turkey in these parts) and even burnt cookies (courtesy of me!). Krista, the other foreign teacher at my school that is my age AKA my sanity, whipped up a fabulous dinner. It was beautiful, heartwarming, and full of cheer. Thanks Krista!!
The Ulsan 11
This past weekend, I took a journey to Busan, my favorite city in Korea thus far, and swam with sharks! I know, crazy right? The Ulsan 11 took a trip, we had training, and we swam in the aquarium with sharkies. It really wasn’t frightening at all. The turtles were more vicious than the sharks! The ninja turtles were defending their territory and attempting to bite us at every chance. We had to lock them up so that they couldn’t nibble on us while we swam. They’re so friendly in Nemo! I’ll never underestimate another turtle.
It was a wonderful weekend in beautiful Busan. It brought me out of my funk,
Aqua Girl!!!!
turned my gray skies blue again, and released the stress from my life. I am going through this week feeling refreshed and ready to tackle the next few months ahead of me.
I’m beginning to realize how Korea is such a place of transition for so many people. I am constantly attending goodbye dinners for people. It’s sad, people are always coming and going… story of life right?
Enjoy the pics my beauties. Missin you out there
Namaste
Nichole
Shark divin with them vicious turtles
That's my ol' buddy Bruce blockin the photo
